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By sdogi | October 1, 2008 - 10:00 pm - Posted in jokes

After numerous rounds of “We don’t know if Osama is
still alive”, Osama himself decided to send George
Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know
he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter as it appeared to contain a
single line of coded message:

370HSSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice.
Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent
it to the FBI.

No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the
CIA, then to the NSA.

With no clue as to its meaning they eventually asked
Britain’s MI-6 for help.

Within a minute MI-6 cabled the White House with this
reply:

“Tell the President he’s holding the message upside
down.”

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By sdogi | - 9:59 pm - Posted in jokes

George Bush, Condi Rice and General Pace went aboard AF1 and flew to Israel to attend a conference regarding massive ultimate attack on Lebanon. The plane lost control and crash-landed along the Lebanese-Israeli border. Hundreds of Hisbolah guerillas having able to sight the crash, went to the site. In short, the three were taken to the Hisbolah camp.

Upon reaching the camp at night, the Hisbolah commanders ordered the execution of the three by the morning. They were tied up and left inside a stockroom. Fortunately, General Pace was able to untie himself. He then untied George and Condi. Seems luck was on their side, the Hisbola man guarding them left to take a piss.

So the three were able to escape and went toward the desert going to Northern Lebanon. After several minutes, the Hisbola guards found out that the three prisoners were missing so they ordered a manhunt. The commander said: “We have guards on the southern, western and eastern outskirts so their only escape route should be north! Go find them!”. So hundreds of Hisbola guerillas chased them toward the north.

General Pace had a feeling that they are being chased so he told the two: “Quick! Let’s find a place to hide. I have a feeling they’re chasing us!”

Condi answered: “But I’m so thirsty, I think I’m dying.”

Seems really really lucky, the three found a large oasis with many trees. There, they can drink and possibly hide.”

After resting a bit and drinking water, they saw the guerillas comming.

Condi said: “You’re right! They’re commmmmmming. Let’s find a place to hide!”

General Pace said: “But where?”

George got an idea: “OK, let’s crimb up the trees. If they decide to climb too and look for us, we’ll sound like animals.”

Condi said: “Good idea!”

So there, each of them climbed a tree.

When the guerillas arrived at the oasis, the commander said: “They couldn’t have gone away so fast. They have nowhere to hide so I know they’re just here! Look for them!”

The guerillas searched the area and found nothing.

The commander said: “Climb the trees! They could just be hiding on the thick branches!”

When a guerilla was about to climb the tree where Condi was hiding, Condi sounded: “Twiiit-twiiitt-twiiittt….”

The guerilla said, “Commander there’s a bird up there. The bired would fly away if someone is up there.”

Commander: “Ok, climb the other tree.”

When the guerilla was about to climb the tree where Pace was hiding, Pace sounded: “Hisssss…hisssssss….hissssssssssszz…”

The guerilla said: “Commander, I think there’s a python up there. It would have constricted the person if he climbed there.”

Commander: “Ok, leave the damn snake alone. Try another tree!”

When the guerilla was about to climb the tree where George Bush was hiding, George being the stupidiest of the three, sounded: “Moooooooooo!”

Commander: “Damn shit, how could there be a cow up on a tree!”

So the three were caught and executed.

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By sdogi | - 9:58 pm - Posted in jokes
George Bush visited a school to see if he was still popular among the youth of America. He held a short speech and asked some children if they had any questions for him.Little Bob raised his hand and said: “I have three questions.
1) How did you win the election even though you had fewer votes?
2) Why did you attack Iraq without the backing of the UN?
3) Do you agree with me, that the bombing of Hiroshima was the biggest terrorist action of the last century?”

At that point the bell rings and all children run out of the classroom. After 5 minutes all the children are back inside and Bush again asks the children if there are any questions they would like to ask.

This time Joe raises his hand and says he has five questions:
1) How did you win the election even though you only came second?
2) Why did you attack Iraq without the backing of the UN?
3) Do you agree with Bob and me, that the bombing of Hiroshima was the biggest terrorist action of the last century?
4) Why did the bell ring 20 minutes early?
5) Where is Bob?

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