You may have already seen one of these since they are really really popular. I wanted to add just the spider drawing guys creation but then I also found this really old one(1995) with a traveler and hotel maids. These days every other humor web site is about fake & funny email conversations but I find these specially memorable. If you are interested about more then these three though then you might want to check out emails from an asshole compilation I posted in here while ago.

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you,
S. Berman

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.
Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead.
I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.
Regards, David.

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 10.16am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,
Thankyou for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation of the agreement due to the comfort and wellbeing of my neighbours and I am currently soundproofing my apartment with egg cartons as I realise my dogs can cause quite a bit of noise. Especially during feeding time when I release live rabbits.
Regards, David.

Yup this time it is true because the Internet says so and who can be more knowledgeable then all the minds put together into one big collective mind on say a Twitter (porn) site for example? Somebody once made a hoax website back in 2004 that looked like CNN.com article about Johnny Depp’s death and this same web site has risen some waves again. Although it was really a hoax site back then and later everyone found out that what the web site claimed wasn’t true we are pretty confident that it is true this time.

Before you read any further I have to say that Johnny Depp is gay and retarded and he is so because he “accidentally” fell into experimental liquid they use in Hollywood to turn actors gay and retarded. Don’t believe me? Look it up! The almighty Internet speaks the truth!

Anyway back to why he is dead. Any actor who looks like this:

Actually.. ANY actor who plays a gay pirate, gay candy maker, gay lunatic and sometimes decides to take on more serious roles is pretty much dead. Somebody who looks like the guy on the picture and is preparing for Gay Pirates of the Caribbean 4 is most likely dead.

This is not a sad event though because as you might know already this gay actor publicly ate babies in one of his movies. He got them all into the theater to watch him and then he ate their brains through the 3D teleportation device they have in the theaters these days. Here is one of the bloody scenes from the movie:

So there you have it, RIP Johnny Depp or maybe do not RIP would be more appropriate. Your gay terror and baby eating career is over!

Now sod off from this web site moron, it was made for more intelligent people!

1. Tiger’s new movie is out: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.

2. Apparently the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She said “I don’t know exactly… but put me down for a 5.”

3. Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one.

4. What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards……..

5. What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing

6. Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.

7. Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger’s wife to pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger!

I hate assholes chilling around in their speedos, sporting their fake silver chains and lame tribal tattoos. If you would ever get into a fight with one of those russian idiots, thats how to win. Go for the balls.

Russian fight

In the light of recent Nort Korean cyber attacks, nuke tests, missle launches and smuggeling drugs to terrorist nations, I bring you Nanami chan. Why you might ask, this chick is Japanese. But you see after the Korean war, when NK was cut off from the rest of the world, that is the last image of foreign media the Koreans had. This Nanami chan super heroine probably still lives on in the subconcious of North Korean people. If you look at the level that North Koreas media production is at, it might even seem that they are still trying to achieve the same special effects as the Nanami chan film had. And they are pretty much there.

And that is why people who escape NK to the South Korea go insane. Nanami chan is what they pictured outside culture would be like, not StarCraft, Cyberspace and grindcore.

Sailor suited nanami

Another great clip back from the days of the Ali G show. Bruno playing mind games with middle Americans from Alabama. I haven’t seen the new Bruno movie yet, but I’m going to soon.

P.S. Alabama is really the least gay place in America.

Here is the clip:

Bruno

A lone French soldier invades Normandy 60 years after his buddies. He must have gotten lost. This video was funny as hell, I hope that the new Sasha Baron Cohen movie, Brüno, will be more like this. But it’s probably gonna suck … everyone who has seen the real Bruno back from the Ali G show would agree.

Here is the French soldier video:

French soldier

And as a bonus, an old Bruno scene, back when Bruno was keeping it real:

Bruno at Evil Fest

This video made me smile. Listen to the lady going “OH NO!” while the rocket is falling. The 4th of July celebrations are super great. Thousands of drunk people blowing up things, screaming and drinking in the dead of the night. Super. I would have liked to be there with those people seeing this Lord of the Rings fireworks moment.

firework blows in crowd

Since there is lot of useless crap posted on that site I figured to pick some of the best ones out from Dead Michael Jackson Jokes. If you liked his music or don’t think he was a child molester although he settled out of court with many parents for some strange reason, then you might want to skip this post. You have that power and you don’t have to read these.

Before michael jackson died, he pulled a nurse to the side and whispered one last thing in her ear ‘put me in the childrens ward!’

Michael Jackson’s body was 55% plastic, so now they’re going to melt him down into Lego’s and let little boys play with him for a change

Farah Fawcett died yesterday. At the pearly gates of heaven, God said he would grant her one wish. She replied, “Keep all of earth’s children safe.” The next day, Micheal Jackson died.

It was announced to day that Michael Jackson is not going to be cremated or buried but hes gonna be recycled so he still stays plastic and is still a hazard to young children.

Michael Jackson did not die of a heart attack. He died from eating 12 yr old nuts

50,000 Catholic priests are now happy, they no longer have to share the alter boys with Michael Jackson

The coronor released the real reason for MJ’s heart attack. He was reading the analysis of his ticket sales for the new tour and saw how many tickets would be going to 8 year old boys.

In honor of Michael Jacksons death, It is mandatory that all children wear their pants at half mast.

L. A. Coroner found out the cause of death, Michael Jackson, got food poisoning, he ate a five year old wiener

What is small and brown, and will never be found in a diaper ever again? Michael Jackson’s fingers.

Micheal Jackson faked a heart attack to get to hospital but died when he found out it didn’t have a children’s ward

I heard that they are not Buying MJ a coffin, they are just putting him back in the box he came in.

Michael Jackson requested that he wanted to be cremated and put the remains in a cereal box so he could have the experience of going through a 10 year olds ass again!!!

Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died the same day. In their honor, theaters will be playing “Beauty and the Beast”

Michael Jackson’s last words were “Take me to the children’s hospital!”

Q: How did Michael Jackson die? A: He choked to death on a sausage from the Vienna Boys Choir

Why did MJ name his kid blanket so he has an excuse to sleep with him

What did Elvis say to Michael Jackson? “Take your hands off my grandson”

Q: What does Michael Jackson and a X-Box have in common?
A: They are both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.

Did you hear about MJ’s new toaster the bread goes in brown and comes out white

I heard the cause of his heart attack was the shock when he discovered Boys-2-Men was a band and not a home delivery service

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and Disneyland? Disneyland can still touch kids!

They had to cancel Micheal’s tour dates. Brad, 8 and Tim, 12.

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? Michael Jackson is no longer harmful to children

Q: Why did Michael Jackson name his home the “NEVER”land Ranch? A: Because the little boys “NEVER” wanted to go back!!

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Because theres twenty of them!

Breaking News: Casper the friendly ghost was molested in the early hours of this morning!

Only in America can someone be born as a poor black kid, and die as rich white woman.

Q: What’s the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? A: Neil Armstrong walked on the moon… and Michael Jackson fucked kids

Michael Jackson is dead and this has given life to an interesting but very cruel movement. When mainstream media is filled with articles about his music and how he was the greatest artist who ever lived then social web is totally another story.

There are hundreds if not thousands of Michael Jackson jokes floating around already and probably about the same amount of web sites featuring these too.

One of the biggest joke sites I found is Dead Michael Jackson jokes. If you submit a good one in there you can win a prize too now apparently! I know it is kind a cruel to make jokes about very recently dead Michael Jackson but for some reason doing that makes it even more funnier in some cruel twisted way.

RIP Michael Jackson